How to get your stubborn ex to talk to you ?

long story short,we have been dating for a year and two month ,, broke up like 3 times,last time we broke up cos he had changed and he was in a lot of stress so he took it out on me and i couldnt take it anymore,usually we get back after few weeks an now its been a month a half,so we have mutual friends and they are having a gathering,and then i get a msg that i am uninvited cos my ex doesnt wanna see me cos he wants to get over me and stuff ( thats what he said) so i told my friend that its ok but i dont know whats teh big deal is,im not fully over him as well but it doesnt mean that im gonn attack him or anything ,, i really love my friends and i hate drama,i can understand him but i just dont want this to happen every time there is a gathering,im hoping to speak to him about it and the thing is he is very stubborn and everytime he is pissed off or hurt he tends to ignore me,so how do i get him to see me and talk to me,so we can be ok wid eachother? pls help,i just wanna know what i can do to make him meet up wid me or something to talk this issue over and be ok, and what line si should use to get him to see me?i dont want him back,im happy without him i just want to talk things over